You matched. Now what?

A lot of you have asked me this, so here it is. The good news: the hardest part is done. Someone already said yes to you. Now just be a normal, interesting person about it.

Start with their card

Their Vibe Card is right there in the chat. Use it. A first message that shows you actually read it gets a reply nearly every time, because it’s easy to answer.

• “Your green flag is ‘texts back’ 😂 okay, pressure’s on. What made you pick that one?”
• “Sajjan Raj Vaidya on repeat? Which song wrecks you every single time?”
• “Dal bhat every meal is a bold claim. Where’s the best dal in your city?”
• “You’re in Sydney too. Best momo, go. I’ll wait.”
• “Nursing? Respect. What shift are you on this week?”
• “Marriage on your card, same here. What made you finally try a site like this?”

What not to send

• 🚫“hi”, “hlo”, “hlo dear”. Nobody knows what to do with that.
• 🚫“hey beautiful”, “nice pic”, “you look gorgeous”. Compliment their answers, not their face.
• 🚫Asking for a number, Insta or WhatsApp in the first message. It’s the fastest way to get unmatched.
• 🚫Ten messages in a row before they’ve replied once.
• 🚫“Are you free today?” before you’ve had one real conversation.
• 🚫The same copy-paste line you sent everyone. People can tell.

Keep it going

• One question at a time. This is a chat, not an interview.
• Answer what they asked before asking something new.
• Match their energy. Short replies? Keep yours short too.
• Reply within a day. Quicker is fine, every five minutes is a lot.
• Say what you actually think. Safe answers are boring and nobody remembers them.

Respect, every time

This is the part that decides whether people enjoy being here. Women especially get a lot of messages, so the ones who behave well stand out fast.

• No reply means no. Don’t send “???” or ask again a week later.
• Never ask anyone for money, a loan, visa help or a job. Real people don’t.
• Never ask for photos. Ever.
• Keep it clean unless they’ve clearly made it obvious they want otherwise.
• If someone says they’re not feeling it, say “all good, take care” and leave it there. That’s it.

Numbers come later

Chat on here until you’ve both had a proper back-and-forth. When you’re both ready, tap 📇 Swap contacts in the chat. You each share yours, and neither of you sees the other’s until you both have. Nobody’s number ends up out there one-sided.

Meeting up

Video call first, meet somewhere public, tell a friend where you’re going, and get yourself there and back. All of it is on my safety page.

Didi’s rule: if you wouldn’t say it in front of their didi, don’t type it 💛